Mental Health and Suicide

Long story short: YES.

Stress produces hormones and toxins, and if you spend a long enough time marinating in those: your body forgets how to work properly without them. You need a vacation, an extended period that is relatively stress free. Failing that... you might need medication to help deal. I hesitate to recommend the meds, but it's an option.

Creditor waiting period is finally over. Now I am busy busy busy.

I love my neighbors.

All I want for Christmas is for lawyers to do their jobs and get my nightmare over with.

So, here's my situation as it stands.

I am actively seeking to purchase a house. The good news is that I am already pre-approved for a mortgage, and the guy at the bank I went to recommended a very good real estate agent, who has thus far been very helpful in regards to finding a place that suits my needs. The bad news is that it's very much a seller's market, and my efforts have been stymied by a lack of houses on the market, the prices of said houses, and my erratic work schedule. Which is not helping me feel better, as I am very eager to get my own space again and get back to getting things done for me.

And on the subject of my previous residence? The place that I was forced to leave because of plumbing issues that the landlord was dragging their feet on fixing, which led to me calling the Board of Health, which led to them deciding to have me depart the place because they wanted to renovate? I randomly Googled it, and it doesn't look like any sort of renovation's been done. If anything, the place looks worse. Nothing I can do about it, but still, irks me.

Speaking of my job, things aren't rosy there either. We're busier than ever, with our location apparently snatching up business from other local stores. Management is, of course, thrilled at this, but my department is getting worked to death and the job is just getting more difficult and more complicated than needed. The old supervisor, my sixth in as many years, got transferred to another store, and the current supervisor is recovering from a hospital stay (she's dealing with congestive heart failure!), and we are currently understaffed. I'm all set to have vacation time next week, but thanks to a meeting, I'm set to lose some of that vacation time because someone from my department has to attend it. Plus I have people in my department who care more about playing on their phones than they do getting things done, and thus the things that get done tend to accumulate until I do them. Management is aware of this issue, but nothing has been done about it. Couple that with me getting yelled at by customers, a member of management acting in such a way that implies that he thinks that I'm mentally deficient, people in other departments acting in similar manners, and my general inability to find time to take breaks because, y'know, we're busy and understaffed, is leaving me a miserable wreck.

Oh, and my Twitter account may or may not be permanently suspended. I recently changed my password, and while I can still see other posts, but I no longer have the ability to post myself, I have no more followers or people following me, and my appeal attempts are apparently being ignored. I know that compared to the stuff above, this is minor, but still, I feel like more and more straws are accumulating, and it's only a matter of time before the camel's back is broken.

I have to wonder if the Twitter account is worth it. I have to wonder if any social media is worth it, or if anything is worth it. I'm depressed, and miserable, and frankly, any sort of advice or response would be welcome.

I'm honestly not sure what advice I could give. When I bought my house, it was definitely a buyers market. As it is now, economy is shit all around. I don't know where you're living now, but I wonder if maybe it could be better to stay there for now until the economy gets better and leans more towards a buyer's market again.

As far as work goes, that's also a bit of a pickle. Like, I know what it's like when things are understaffed. But I have to say where I work has been really good at making sure people get the vacation time they deserve. All I can suggest is easier said than done. Continue to do well so the managers can see you doing well. But at the end of the day, just realize you're understaffed, you're doing what you can and at the end of your shift, it's someone else's problem. Try not to take the stress home with you. Easier said than done, I know. But it is stress you just don't need.

As for Twitter, hard for me to say anything. I always thought Twitter was a big toxic wasteland. So I'm not sure what to say about that other than you still have us if that helps.

I've been back with my parents since February of last year. It's not terrible, but it's driving me nuts, and like I said, I can't get anything done for me. I get my own place, with my own space, and I will be able to pursue more of my own projects again.

I do my best to not take my work stress home with me. Unfortunately, when I come back refreshed, the stress comes back again. The issues I've mentioned have been there for years, and management is aware of it, but the employees in question aren't about to adjust their behavior. They've been doing what they've been doing for years, and they aren't going to stop now, much to my chagrin. It's management and others subtly implying that they view me as mentally deficient and incompetent that's really getting to me.

Twitter, at least, seems to be partially resolved. I have access to the account again, but all of my posts and follows appear to have been deleted. Not thrilled about that, but it's better than nothing.

Thank you for at least responding. I do appreciate that.

I can't really think of much advice, either. Just your basic trying to find some time for yourself at least once a week, like walking somewhere nice, sitting in a cafe/library, soaking in a tub, etc. Easier said than done, though.

On a side note: I recently binged The Good Place on Netflix. It's a live action comedy series about a woman who ends up in The Good Place in error after she dies. Despite the premise, it was quite funny and unexpected. The ending was handled well and was quite cathartic (I cried a lot). Even if you don't agree with it, I think it's worth watching. Thought I would post about it here if anyone needs something cathartic.

Lawyers have done nothing productive all day month.

In hindsight I should not have hired Hind and Burg Attorneys at Law to handle the estate case.

CoffeeHorse said:

In hindsight I should not have hired Hind and Burg Attorneys at Law to handle the estate case.

Click to expand...

I want to give you the laugh, but I understand just how frustrated you must be.

It is frustrating and burdensome. Estate courts don't offer a free warehouse where you can drop stuff off. I'm stuck with all my dad's stuff, and some of it comes with bills, and I can't sell anything. Technically the bills are the estate's bills and I will be compensated at the end of this, but right now it's crushing.

I was starting to feel encouraged but no. Lawyer's gone quiet again.

There's been no tangible progress since early June. Just promises.

Another month gone. No progress since the first week of June. I am frustrated.

Alright folks: lemme tell you a story. It's about my uncle bruno. Hell of a guy. Carpenter, craftsman, patriotic canadian, dedicated italian, family man, and just a wonderful, all around hard working guy. Spoke three languages, loved to garden, have a little campfire, and absolutely murder a pizza.

For a few days in the mid 90's, he thought he was suffering from a migraine. Turns out he had had a massive stroke in his sleep. He was hospitalized for weeks, required brain surgery, and when he came home, his balance and coordination was shot. He was working construction at the time: his boss shook his hand, wished him well and told him to enjoy his retirement. He was 45.

A few years later, he had another stroke. Another massive one. Required brain surgery again. Lost most of his communication with that one.

And... a few years later he had another one. No surgery this time, but still more degradation.

And a few nights ago, he had another. His brain is still bleeding, and he's currently running a fairly high fever. The doctors have said they can't operate on him, and want to talk to my aunt, but given some of the stuff happening in her life right now (my aunt and her family recovering from a massive flood, she lost everything in her basement, as well as her preparing for her own pending surgery, while recovering from her own heart attack and heart surgery... yeah.) they haven't been able to meet, but what she's reported is that he could live for a week, or he could live for months, but this is (supposedly.) the one that will kill him.

So... moral of the story: you need to take care of your physical health as well.

Edit: my aunt just called; uncle bruno woke up and asked for food... there ya go.

I'm so sorry Wonko, that's a lot to go through.

Man, that's. Prayers for your Uncle, but also definitely for your aunt.This has to hit hard, particularly right before major surgery.

Keep us posted, kay?

Considering we've been waiting on my aunt to call and tell us it's over... and now it's apparently very much NOT over... I'll do what I can.

I'm sorry. I've experienced something similar with a relative, a long roller coaster of ups and downs with their health. Every down you wonder if this is going to be the one. Hope your uncle will be ok for awhile.

So my aunt updated us today.

The aneurism will kill. Might be tomorrow, might be next week, might be next year: but it'll kill him, we just can't know when.

So really; not an improvement.